The Cult of Fertility turns its back on Americans with infertility
"For those of us whose bodies cannot be pounded into a state of venerable gravidity, the 'pro-life' cult of fertility’s disdain for us has long been apparent."
Outline
Introduction
The right-wing anti-reproductive rights apparatus has become increasingly open in voicing its fundamental opposition to and intensifying hostility toward assisted reproductive technology (ART), including in vitro fertilization (IVF). Since Roe v. Wade was dismantled two years ago, 40 bills have been introduced threatening Americans’ access to IVF.1 Republicans in Congress steadfastly refuse to protect IVF and other fertility treatments while simultaneously making hollow declarations of support for IVF and gaslighting Americans with transparently bogus claims that access to IVF is not under threat. Meanwhile, state Republican Party platforms23 and conservative religious groups4 continue their war on assisted reproductive technology unfazed. All ART is under threat.
At the same time as the attacks on ART by the right-wing anti-reproductive rights apparatus become more obvious, so too does the “pro-life” fertility cult’s disdain for those struggling with the disability5 of infertility. “Natural” fertility and abundant fecundity have been melted together and pounded into a gravid goddess: her distended belly, an object of reverence; the golden fetus within her, an object of veneration. For those of us whose bodies cannot be pounded into a state of venerable gravidity, the cult of fertility’s disdain for us has long been apparent.
The Parenthood Imperative
In many parts of America, the ostensibly “pro-life,” conservative Christian cultural milieu bombards us - Christians and non-Christians alike - with a parenthood imperative. 6
“Within many Christian faith community discourses, children are espoused as gifts from God and the act of child rearing as a special assignment from God.”7 To support the parenthood mandate, proponents will engage in poof texting, invoking Bible verses such as Psalm 127:3-5 that says, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb, a reward.”8 Hence, “the biblical language of ‘reward’ might suggest that children are given to those who have earned a spiritual stamp of approval from God.”9
“Given this ideology, it should not be surprising that the family can be interpreted as a symbol and outward sign of faithful obedience, sanction, and success. When embodied, this belief engenders assumptions regarding those for whom children are not possible. If children are a ‘reward,’ perhaps the absence of children is a punishment? If children are a ‘blessing’ then perhaps those who do not have children were not worthy of receiving such a blessing? If Christian couples are called to raise up the next generation, than perhaps the infertile Christian couple was not deemed spiritually mature enough to be entrusted with such a task?”10
Furthermore, “parenthood, in addition to being a behavioral expectation… is often viewed as an expected life transition to adulthood.”11 Those who aren’t parents are thus culturally positioned as immature, rebellious, irresponsible, hedonistic, selfish, and perpetually unfulfilled.
The parenthood mandate and the negative stereotyping of childless people are instilled and reinforced through influential members of the conservative Christian cultural community:
“[T]o be human is to be a parent.”12
“Parenthood is a part of helping to create adults. We grow up by having children. Without that responsibility, we have a generation of perpetual adolescents just growing old.”13
“I think [it] is dangerous to assume that we’re going to say that people can be recognized as responsible adults who don’t even aspire to grow up to be mature enough to have children.”14
“[R]ebellion against parenthood represents nothing less than an absolute revolt against God’s design. The Scripture points to barrenness as a great curse and children as a divine gift.”15
“[C]hildlessness… remains a form of rebellion against God’s design and order.”16
“The church should insist that the biblical formula calls for adulthood to mean marriage and marriage to mean children. This reminds us of our responsibility to raise boys to be husbands and fathers and girls to be wives and mothers.”17
“[T]hose who choose childlessness (or have very few children) are… simply living for themselves, maximizing ‘hedonic pleasure’ and ‘leisure time,’ with little thought of the future.”18
The Motherhood Imperative
Women are singled out in the “pro-life,” conservative Christian cult of fertility. The motherhood imperative within this cultural milieu centers a woman’s identity and purpose of existence supremely upon her reproductive capacity. As Donna Paulsen notes, “Childbirth and reproduction have typically been seen as ‘central to self-identity and to the fulfillment of gender roles and religious duties’ for women.”19
Resultantly, women are categorized as either mother or future mother.20 Therefore, women without children are marginalized, as “any attribute that makes someone different from others, ‘in the category of persons available for her to be,’ has the potential to reduce the individual ‘from a whole and usual person to a tainted, discounted one.’”21 “The embodied belief that a woman’s design and duty are attached to her ability to produce children establishes motherhood as the chief paradigm for all women. Any identity outside that of mother will therefore, by comparison, be greatly diminished, as will the personal sense of self-worth for those unable to achieve motherhood.”22
In faith communities, “[t]he veneration of children, like the veneration of motherhood, leaves women who struggled to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term bereft of any visible representation to validate their existence.”23 Such women are socially and culturally marginalized, because the motherhood imperative is anchored in a categorical inseparability of womanhood from motherhood:24
“[Woman’s] pathway to real salvation was appointed by the Almighty. It is motherhood. 'She shall be saved through childbirth' [1 Timothy 2:15].”25
“For better or worse, mothers are the makers of men… That’s why the goal of becoming a godly mother is the highest and most noble pursuit of womanhood. God has specially equipped women for that very purpose, and in Christ, women can experience profound satisfaction in that divinely ordained pursuit. They can be who God created them to be.”26
“Woman's hope, the church's hope, the world's hope is joined to childbearing… It is the highest [calling] any woman can enter.”27
“[V]irginity and motherhood [are the] two particular dimensions of the fulfillment of the female personality.”28
“[Churches] must continually hold out the biblical ideal of women's service to God and humanity in childbirth.”29
Stigmatization and Marginalization
You may be tempted to assume that right-wingers, conservative Christians, and conservative churches - who position procreation as core to individuals’ identities, and having children as a person's/couple's ultimate source of satisfaction and fulfillment - would be supportive of those who struggle with the endless, cyclical pain and trauma of infertility. However, this is not so. “Many couples say that their faith communities are the least safe place when it comes to their fertility woes.”30 As one woman observed, “Evangelicals can cope with tribe-approved suffering that resolves fairly quickly in ways they like. However, suffering that continues for years on end just flummoxes them. They’re not terribly compassionate or supportive people in the best of times. At these worst of times, they completely lose the plot.”31
Consider the following condemnation of infertile couples by Pastor John MacArthur (the “Evangelical Pope”). Twisting the biblical story of Hannah, a childless woman, MacArthur wrote:
“Hannah was quite different from many today who long for children; she wasn't seeking a child for her own fulfillment. Childless parents today spend millions on infertility treatments... They worry and fret and sin in their continued anxiety.”32
Women and couples who are unable to have children often learn they can do no right. ‘Barrenness’ is a curse; your purpose for existing is to be fruitful and multiply; your highest calling is to bear children; “to be human is to be a parent”; you aren't a real adult if you don't have kids; to be a woman is to be a mother; your “pathway to salvation” is childbirth, upon which hangs all the hopes and future of the church and the nation.— But how dare you feel sad or anxious about being unable to have kids! How dare you spend money on trying to have kids! How dare you experience a crisis of identity! You sinner!
As the current body of research shows, “while faith communities have the potential to be a resource, source of support, and context for healing, more often than not, they are a burden, source of strain, and just one more painful obstacle for those facing infertility.”33 People struggling with infertility “who belong to spiritual communities that make parenthood a core identity experience a heightened sense of social isolation and stigmatization.”34 People who choose not to disclose their infertility struggles risk being viewed and treated as immature, rebellious, irresponsible, hedonistic, selfish, and unfulfilled; people who do disclose risk being viewed and treated as defective, sinful, spiritually inept, physically inept, lacking in faith, purposeless, of lesser value, and punished by God.
Within the conservative Christian cultural milieu, people unable to have children risk incurring additional marginalization and stigmatization when pursuing fertility treatments to build their families, in part because the conservative evangelical gospel of prosperity - the view that good things will come to those who are sufficiently obedient, and that prayers will be answered for those who are sufficiently faithful and trust in God - negatively positions people struggling with infertility. Implicit herein are two key ideas with regards to infertility: (1) God “ordains” some people to be “barren” as a punishment for their disobedience, with “barrenness” perceived as a trial of faith and a time of holy chastisement; and (2) God will “open the wombs” of those who are sufficiently faithful and repentant, and give them children.
“Unnatural” fertility treatments threaten this paradigm. If infertility is ordained by God, unnatural infertility treatments are an attempt to usurp God’s design and authority. Hence, “[t]he stories of infertile women in the Bible are lifted to emphasize that God alone is in charge of who can conceive, when and how they can conceive.”35 People who pursue ART might as well be “playing God.”
Whereas a compassionate response to a person's or couple’s decision to utilize ART to build a family would be “to name how difficult these decisions are and to support a couple’s choice,”36 instead, “[m]any church leaders will say to couples pursuing fertility treatments they are playing God. That the only way children should come in the world is naturally. That to introduce a surrogate into the relationship to carry the child or to use donor sperm or eggs is adultery. These are heavy theological statements, and while pastors [and political leaders] may hold their own theological beliefs about fertility options, the church [and politicians] get[] it wrong when making absolute statements about what is right or what is wrong for a couple.”37 They get it wrong when they attempt to dictate people's individual journeys and options.
Those of us who struggle with the disability of infertility don't need other people to tell us how to walk our own journeys. Nor do we need others to substitute their conscience for our own. We certainly don't need or desire for others to take away our options for building families.
But the cult of fertility is just getting animated. And the cult's disdain for people like me is unmistakable.
*For religious leaders who wish to support people struggling with infertility, see the resources linked HERE.
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Harris, B. (2024, June 14). Southern Baptist Convention’s opposition to IVF leaves some hurt and grappling with their options. NBCNews.com. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/southern-baptist-convention-opposition-ivf-faithful-women-options-rcna156994
Infertility discrimination: RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. (2022, February 10). https://resolve.org/take-action/our-issues/infertility-discrimination/
Paulsen, Donna, ""No One's Gonna Say That at Church:" Women's Experiences with Infertility in Christian Faith Communities" (2020). Electronic Theses and Dissertations. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1V9bD3s7ev5doDL3WGcoePAVzgIyyqptU/view
Paulsen, Donna, ""No One's Gonna Say That at Church:" Women's Experiences with Infertility in Christian Faith Communities" (2020). Electronic Theses and Dissertations. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1V9bD3s7ev5doDL3WGcoePAVzgIyyqptU/view
Paulsen, Donna, ""No One's Gonna Say That at Church:" Women's Experiences with Infertility in Christian Faith Communities" (2020). Electronic Theses and Dissertations. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1V9bD3s7ev5doDL3WGcoePAVzgIyyqptU/view
Paulsen, Donna, ""No One's Gonna Say That at Church:" Women's Experiences with Infertility in Christian Faith Communities" (2020). Electronic Theses and Dissertations. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1V9bD3s7ev5doDL3WGcoePAVzgIyyqptU/view
Paulsen, Donna, ""No One's Gonna Say That at Church:" Women's Experiences with Infertility in Christian Faith Communities" (2020). Electronic Theses and Dissertations. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1V9bD3s7ev5doDL3WGcoePAVzgIyyqptU/view
Paulsen, Donna, ""No One's Gonna Say That at Church:" Women's Experiences with Infertility in Christian Faith Communities" (2020). Electronic Theses and Dissertations. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1V9bD3s7ev5doDL3WGcoePAVzgIyyqptU/view
Mohler, A. (2020, April 29). The Briefing with Albert Mohler Tuesday, August 27, 2019. AlbertMohler.com. https://albertmohler.com/2019/08/27/briefing-8-27-19/
Comminications Staff. (2005, December 19). Avoiding responsibility is at the heart of intentional childlessness, Mohler says on CNN Program. The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. https://www.sbts.edu/news/avoiding-responsibility-is-at-the-heart-of-intentional-childlessness-mohler-says-on-cnn-program/
Comminications Staff. (2005, December 19). Avoiding responsibility is at the heart of intentional childlessness, Mohler says on CNN Program. The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. https://www.sbts.edu/news/avoiding-responsibility-is-at-the-heart-of-intentional-childlessness-mohler-says-on-cnn-program/
Mohler, A. (2003, October 13). Deliberate childlessness: Moral rebellion with a new face. AlbertMohler.com. https://albertmohler.com/2003/10/13/deliberate-childlessness-moral-rebellion-with-a-new-face-4/
Mohler, A. (2003, October 13). Deliberate childlessness: Moral rebellion with a new face. AlbertMohler.com. https://albertmohler.com/2003/10/13/deliberate-childlessness-moral-rebellion-with-a-new-face-4/
Mohler, A. (2003, October 13). Deliberate childlessness: Moral rebellion with a new face. AlbertMohler.com. https://albertmohler.com/2003/10/13/deliberate-childlessness-moral-rebellion-with-a-new-face-4/
Morris, S. (2022, October 19). A message to intentionally childless millennials. CBMW. https://cbmw.org/2022/10/18/a-message-to-intentionally-childless-millennials/
Paulsen, Donna, ""No One's Gonna Say That at Church:" Women's Experiences with Infertility in Christian Faith Communities" (2020). Electronic Theses and Dissertations. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1V9bD3s7ev5doDL3WGcoePAVzgIyyqptU/view
Hanigsberg JE. Homologizing pregnancy and motherhood: a consideration of abortion. Mich Law Rev. 1995 Nov;94(2):371-418. PMID: 10160508. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10160508/
Paulsen, Donna, ""No One's Gonna Say That at Church:" Women's Experiences with Infertility in Christian Faith Communities" (2020). Electronic Theses and Dissertations. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1V9bD3s7ev5doDL3WGcoePAVzgIyyqptU/view
Paulsen, Donna, ""No One's Gonna Say That at Church:" Women's Experiences with Infertility in Christian Faith Communities" (2020). Electronic Theses and Dissertations. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1V9bD3s7ev5doDL3WGcoePAVzgIyyqptU/view
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Paulsen, Donna, ""No One's Gonna Say That at Church:" Women's Experiences with Infertility in Christian Faith Communities" (2020). Electronic Theses and Dissertations. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1V9bD3s7ev5doDL3WGcoePAVzgIyyqptU/view
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When the Alabama Supreme Court decided to call a frozen embryo a child they automatically assigned personhood to a fertilized egg and every developmental stage going forward. Even though they didn’t explicitly say that IVF is illegal they didn’t have to. It’s understood that if an embryo is destroyed even accidentally the person causing the destruction can be charged with murder or manslaughter under a different statute that exists in the state of Alabama. Major fertility clinics in Alabama shuttered IVF operations until there could be more clarity concerning the issue. GOP lawmakers were falling all over themselves in an effort to rectify the situation. They’ve crafted a law to protect IVF clinics and their patients from being prosecuted for trying to start or build a family. It’s designed specifically to give these providers immunity from prosecution but it’s only a temporary fix to a GOP created hot mess. They know this could potentially be the demise of the GOP and still may be yet. The GOP stands to lose massive support even in heavily Republican districts.
You have accurately defined these groups both political and religious as cultish. The “pro-life” groups are essentially fetal and fertility worshippers. No one is capable of making decisions for anyone else about their pregnancy or their fertility. Morality and ethics cannot and should not be legislated. No woman is ever someone else’s Pygmalion project.
Please offer us some advice on how to communicate with our family members and friends in such a way as to let them know— in an entirely nonjudgmental way —that our sympathies are with them.